2 Months of being an Alien: On Being Incoherent and Spilling my Heart Out

So. It’s gonna be two weeks since I got here in Tokyo. Seems like I’ve been here much longer though. Work is awfully hard and demanding here. I used to think when it was high season around October – November in Jakarta, it was hectic. Now that I’ve been here for less than 2 weeks, office life in Jakarta is child’s play compared to what I’m doing here.

It’s… crazy. I’m learning to make requests to new and unfamiliar destinations every day. I’m thrilled, actually, to be learning new things. It’s refreshing. But I kinda wish I could learn it in English so I can have a better and faster grasp at it. Communication here is of course in 100% Japanese, and MY Japanese is mediocre at best. So I understand perfectly… about only 40 to 50% of the time.

The good thing is, a colleague is teaching me all the things I’m meant to learn here so I’m not totally lost. He’s kind of like mentoring me, I guess. I think he’s a nice person but a lot of my other colleagues here and back at Jakarta don’t like him much because he’s a bit eccentric. They say he talks too fast and is a bit neurotic. Can’t say they’re totally wrong, but it’s good enough for me. He teaches the basics and then basically leaves me alone as fast as he could to learn to do it by myself but is actually always there to support me. I guess that way it sticks, right? You learn better and faster from your mistakes.

The other thing that I’m supposed to learn is … a little uncomfortable for me. I’m supposed to get used to the idea of checking my work… and also other people’s work. It’s kinda hard because… I’m not used to it. And I don’t want to get used to it. I’ve always been at the other side of this type of work. And checking other people’s work, finding mistakes… it’s awful and filled with so much pressure. I would most certainly suck at auditing -____-;; I don’t want people to hate me. I know it’s probably all in my head, but all I can think about when the people I’ve checked ask me about what I said is : “You’re not qualified to check me.” “You’re stupid.” “What the f*** is your point?” Yes. I know, all in my head. But I feel that way. And it kinda makes me want to cry everytime that happens.

But the worst thing being here: I’m alone. I’m freaking alone. I have no friends here. A really fun place to be, but I’m all alone. No one to go out with, no one to take photos at fun places with, and no one to share the same sh*t with.

But I dont want to seem ungrateful. It’s nice here. It really is. Being in this city, where there’s everything I could ever think of. Also my transports fee, accomodations, etc all taken care of. And I got a nice amount for lunch money (or as I like to call it shopping money). And I do so everyday. Shop for food and various snacks. Probably some time I’ll take a pic of what kind of sweets or cookies I just bought. Or maybe my homemade dinner if I’m not embarassed of it.

But I’m not ungrateful. I just want to come home soon. I miss everyone back in Indonesia. So damn much *crosses of dates on the calender*


2 thoughts on “2 Months of being an Alien: On Being Incoherent and Spilling my Heart Out

  1. I’m aLso uncomfortabLe about the idea of me checking other peopLe’s work.. SpeciaLLy when I’m just a newbie and I have to audit those who had worked there for years. Scary. But when I did, I found out that I can be quite.. ruthLess :p
    I guess that’s a part of how things go in work. The Longer you stay around, the more responsibiLities you must bear. And more things to Learn.

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