It’s just denial, nothing more.

It’s been a week since my aunt passed away. 

I know you’re not supposed to have favorites in a family, but it was very hard to not like her. Not everything she says is well thought, but I can promise you that it’s all from the heart. I think the people who knew her would agree that she was the life of the party.

So when I heard the news, I could never process that she was really, really gone. Like, gone, gone. Even now, it still feels surreal. 

I kept on hoping that she would pop out from a room, greeting us all with twinkling eyes. 

I am the type of person that is easily forgotten by everyone. Usually people pass me by, and go fawn over my pretty cousins. Not my aunt. I feel so happy that she goes around everywhere bragging about me, telling everyone about my seemingly clever brain that got me a scholarship to Japan. Or about my seemingly wonderful job that got me a two week free trip to Europe and training in Japan. Heck, she even noticed the art on my nails. She said they were so pretty. She made everyone feel special.

That day, Mom told me to stay and house sit, while everyone else went to the funeral. I was a little relieved. The words “coming home without you” just kept going through my brain. Even now, I cry a little every time the thought of her pass through my mind. And there were so many photographs of her smiling so prettily.

I wish she’d come back. Tell us it was just a bad joke. 

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6 thoughts on “It’s just denial, nothing more.

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