Is it Fair?

So recently, I’ve been hanging around with this friend of mine. We don’t hang out every day, but lately some weekends I meet him. Some things have slightly changed from what he usually does in the past. Like for instance, now he suddenly takes the side where the car comes from when we cross the street. It has happened at least 3 times already and includes a lot of shuffling around, haha. I appreciated it, and I think it was nice of him to do that, but I have no problems in crossing the road by myself.

So I asked him, “Thanks, but why? It’s okay for you to not do that for me.”

And so he replied that, “I was always scolded by my (ex)-girlfriend because I didn’t do this more often. I should, right? It’s a gentleman thing to do, anyway.” His face was smiling, but I could see just a shadow of resentment. And I couldn’t help but understand his feeling of being forced to do it.

I like being treated like a lady by a man. It feels good. But I know how to be independent too. I don’t bitch around demanding full “equality” to men nor special treatment just because we are women. I know it’s NOT okay for men to feel superior to women (or vice versa), but we have to remember that men and women are different.

I have a problem with women or men that have double standards, but I am especially unforgiving towards women. Why? Because I feel like whenever I encounter something where women demand full “equality” and get what they want, it’s actually demeaning. What frustrates me more is that a lot of people don’t seem to understand this.

There are tons of cases, but let me just do one: trains. The condition of public transportation here is abysmal. Trains are packed to the rafters on rush hour. And don’t get me started when one of those trains are cancelled. It’s crazy. We can’t deny the existence of some terrible men (I’m pretty sure that there are some women too) that like to do inappropriate things to other people.  And so, to counteract that, the women only cars were created. It’s nice and I think it’s a great idea since you can’t exterminate those weirdos. Hey, there are a lot of these kind of cars all around the world. What I don’t like about is, when men accidentally get on that specific car, most of the women on it jeer and yell at them to get off. I don’t think that’s nice. Hey, that man could possibly not know. It might be common knowledge, but hey… not everyone is equipped with common knowledge.

What really pisses me off, is the women’s only TRAIN. 8 full cars, and it’s NEVER full. Thank God it has been terminated. Don’t get me wrong, I AM a girl, but I don’t feel the need for it. 2 cars for every 8 is enough. You can even get on the regular cars, no one’s stopping you. But when a guy gets mad because he didn’t like the women’s only train (mind you, he was running late and the only train passing by was that one, and I’m betting it was a spontaneous outburst due to stress), some people (but mostly women) get insulted, and insult him back. Fiercely. The most common insult was that he didn’t appreciate his own mother. Now really, what does that have to do with this?

Do you not feel insulted that people think women need a whole train to themselves because they can’t handle the rush hour crowd? It implies women are weak. Are we? This is more than counteracting immoral behavior.

Another thing is that women (especially the middle-aged women around 35-50) like to force themselves to sit on seats that can’t fit them (no, I am not talking about fatties).  My brother often complains that a lot of women like to literally step on his toes to wake him and force him to give up his seat. Yes, my brother is an able-bodied person, but that doesn’t eliminate the fact that he too, can get tired. Everyone gets tired. I’m pretty sure my brother would give his seat to an old person, or a pregnant women, but these people that step on his toes, are able-bodied too. Sure most of the people that get their toes stepped on, will give up their seats for these women, but doesn’t that tell you something? Just so it’s clear, it’s a lot more vicious in the women-only cars. The pregnant and the old women are usually the ones standing and being pushed by others, while these toe-steppers are the one sitting and feigning sleep. Why should we women get special treatment, more than others, when we are not pregnant? Is it again, because we’re weak, we get that special treatment? I will not stand to get that type of thought directed at me.

Before you demand equality between men and women, think back: is this true equality or is this something you think is equality while in reality it’s actually sexist and demeaning, even though you are the one being favored.


That’s a Bit Too Hard…

I was recently reading Crime and Punishment by Dostoevsky, and this passage caught my eye.

“What do you think?” shouted Razumihin, louder than ever, “you think I am attacking them for talking nonsense? Not a bit! I like them to talk nonsense. That’s man’s one privilege over all creation. Through error you come to the truth! I am a man because I err! You never reach any truth without making fourteen mistakes and very likely a hundred and fourteen. And a fine thing, too, in its way; but we can’t even make mistakes on our own account! Talk nonsense, but talk your own nonsense, and I’ll kiss you for it. To go wrong in one’s own way is better than to go right in someone else’s. In the first case you are a man, in the second you’re no better than a bird. Truth won’t escape you, but life can be cramped. There have been examples. And what are we doing now? In science, development, thought, invention, ideals, aims, liberalism, judgement, experience, and everything, everything, everything, we are still in the preparatory class at school. We prefer to live on other people’s  ideas, it’s what we are used to! Am I right, am I right?”

It made me remember a passage in one of my textbook when I was studying in GaiDai:


(Very, very roughly translated to): If you are too absorbed in a great book, there is a danger that the writer’s thoughts and point of view will infect you. This infection  is unexpected, unnoticed.  In that condition, there is a danger that you will talk about that writer’s thoughts. You may even write about it. The greater the book, the more power, the more danger it contains. Even just one book can change the world. Because of that we shouldn’t swallow whatever we read whole, but we must converse with it.

I would love to agree with both writers, but wouldn’t that mean that I was not thinking my own thoughts, exactly like they feared?

*this calls for a Philosoraptor meme, but I’m just too lazy*